Altering My Fate
by ChaseAwaytheNightmares
Summary: I have not given this story up! It's just currently being rewritten. I will probably have it back up new & improved by the end of June.
1. Judgement

**Hey everyone! This is my first FanFiction story. I hope you all enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.**

**Chapter One: **

He was dragged across the long expanse of the golden throne room, the heavy chains engraved with runes that bound both his arms and subdue his magic quietly rattled, it being the only sounds that filled the silent room. Roughly being released by the guards, Loki was thrown onto the floor before the seated royal family. The massive hall walls were lined with the citizens of Asgard, that all of a sudden mutually began to demand for the blood of the youngest prince of Asgard. Knowing that all eyes were upon him, Loki managed to stand up with whatever remaining dignity he had left. He held his head up high, for his pride wouldn't let him do any less. Looking into the All-father's eye, he refused to be the one to look away first, until the guard behind him kicked the back of his knees, causing him to collapse. Struggling to rise again, Loki glared at the guard and turned to face the All-father, waiting for his final judgment.

"Loki...Laufeyson, for your crimes and treason again the throne of Asgard, attempting to subjugate Midgard, destruction of the bifrost, and attempted destruction of Jotunheim, I hereby strip you of all rank and titles you hold and sentence you to the lowest prison level beneath Asgard, where you shall relive the death of every life you claimed during the invasion of Midgard and partial destruction of Jotunheim, for the next millennia," Odin proclaimed, slamming down gungnir with finality.

Shocked, Loki could only stand there while time seemed to slow down all around him. It was as if he was watching the next events happen from outside of his body. He felted a burning sensation behind his eyes as he saw his Mother, one of the few people to care and love him because of who he was, turned away from him, but he noticed a few tears slip down her face. Loki hated himself so much more at that moment, for what kind of son was he, that he made his own Mother shed tears. The pain he saw her trying to hide, chipped away at his heart, and crippled his soul. He wanted to rush to her side and hug her, tell her how sorry he was, to comfort her and be comforted by her as well. Attempting to block all thoughts about his Mother out, Loki looked over at his brother, but not-brother, screaming at his not-Father Odin to change his punishment. Confused, he wondered why Thor would demand the All-Father to lighten his sentence. Wasn't this what Thor and the other Avengers told him he deserved? Wasn't this what everybody thought he deserved?

Turing away from his not-brother, he watched as his former Father, the one who told Loki that he was his son and that he would always love Loki, order the guards to take him away. As Loki was dragged away, he watched as he was sneered and spat at by the people of Asgard. Loki saw Lady Sif smirk at him with a triumphant look in her eyes that said, _see, I told you all he was just a liar and a dirty snake_, and the Warrior's Three shot him disgusted and silent, _you got what you deserved_, looks.

He wanted to scream at the people of Asgard, for they didn't know the true story, and probably would not care even if they did. Loki wanted to rage at the All-Father who wouldn't even give him a chance to tell his side of the story, to warn them of the dangers to come, if not just only to say goodbye to his loved ones. Lastly, Loki wanted to hate Thor for believing that he could be capable of doing all of this, that Thor didn't care to look more closely at what was truly going on, that he was forsaking his little brother, the one person he had swore to always protect Screaming for Odin to hear him out, to for once just listen to him, if not because he was once his son, but at least for the safety of Asgard. His pleas and screams fell on deaf ears, echoing throughout the golden throne room of Asgard.

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	2. Questioning

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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything**

Chapter Two:

Thor watched as his younger brother was dragged into the great halls of Asgard. There was only absolute silence, except for the rattling of the chains that bound the prisoner's arm as the citizens of Asgard witnessed him being jerked forward by the armored guards to stand before the throne of Asgard. Listening to the shouts of collective loathing and curses that his brother was being subjected to _almost_ crush him. The prisoner was bound in heavy chains that had the anti-magic charms engraved into the manacles, which would suppress most of his magic, so there would be no chances for him to attempt to escape.

Frigga felt herself breaking inside as she watched her youngest being thrown onto the ground, her hands trembling as she clasped them together to still them. Attempting to reign in her emotions, Frigga still couldn't stop a few tears from sliding down her face.

Standing on the far left side of the throne next to Thor, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, were barely holding themselves back from attacking that treacherous serpent. Sif, Volstaag, Hogan, and Fandral all felt immense disgust at seeing Loki hold his head up high, as if he were something else besides a horrid, no-good snake. Hogan, being the more collected member of their group, calmed the others down, reminding them that soon they would witness the downfall of the former prince.

"Aye, I agree Hogan, soon my friends, we shall hear of what punishment the All-Father shall sentence Loki to, until then we shall be here for Thor, for no matter if he renounces Loki as his brother, it still must sting to watch this," said Volstaag, gesturing over to where their friend Thor stood by with a grim expression on his face.

"I still do not know what Thor ever saw in that vile _frost giant_, how can he still feel any sympathy for it?" Sif spat out with undisguised loathing and hatred, while staring at the monster wearing the face of an Aesir.

"Enough! You shall see him be punished in just a moment, is that not enough? Must you continue to gossip amongst each other?" growled Thor; unhappy with the way his friends were behaving. Were they truly that pleased to see their former prince and friend punished. Did not any of the times where they all went on adventures and quests with Loki not mean anything to them? What about the times when Loki used his tricks to save them? Pondering these thoughts, Thor turned his gaze back on the prisoner. Feeling throughly chastised by their friend, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three quieted down, but that still didn't stop them from silently cursing Loki's name to themselves. Sif stared at her long time friend and couldn't help but wonder why Thor still stood up for Loki, even after everything that has happened.

Loki was dressed in nothing but a gray tunic, black trousers, and a pair of black boots. His jet-black hair was long, stringy, and unkempt, spilling past his shoulders. As Thor observed the imposter that was once his brother, he noticed that even with his appearance and the precarious position he was in, Loki still held his held up high and stood in front of the throne as if he was just conversing with the King about politics and not waiting to be punished for his crimes. Instead of lowering his head to the All-Father, the prisoner held his gaze steady, his eyes not leaving contact until the armored guards kicked him down. After watching Loki stand back up again and steady himself, all became silent when the All-Father spoke up.

As Thor listened to the punishment the All-Father gave to the prisoner, he became stunned at what he heard. Yes, he did despise the imposter that was once his brother, but even he could not just stand there, and let his Father dole out this kind of punishment. Loki _was_ once the All-Father's son, which should mean something. Continuing to watch the prisoner, for the first time Thor noticed on Loki's unnaturally thin face, was covered in deep purple like bruises that gather underneath his eyes from what looks to be a lack of sleep, his bones stood out through his clothing, as if he had been starved, and there was a hollow, jaded look in his eyes, that spoke stories of untold horrors.

Stifling back a cry at Odin's declaration, Frigga set her gaze upon her youngest, searching for anything that once resembled the child she had raised once upon a time ago. As she watched his face closely, she noticed brief glimpses of emotion that quickly flashed across his face, but before she could attempt to decipher what he was feeling, Loki regained control of that cold, emotionless mask he usually wore.

Meanwhile, Thor glared at his Father, attempting to convince him to give Loki a lighter punishment, that he couldn't help but feel that something was wrong, but his pleas went unheard. Feeling helpless, Thor watched, as Loki seemed to shake himself of whatever trance he was in and began to scream at the All-Father to let him speak. Thor and everyone else were stunned into silence as they hear the desperate and unnerving cries that came out of Loki's mouth as he was dragged out of the room.

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	3. Escape

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**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters and etc.**

Chapter Three:

Dragged back down to the depths of Asgard by guard number one and two, Loki knew that he had to do something; everything couldn't just end like this. Thinking up a plan, he pretended to stumble, collapsing to his knees, knowing that the guards would bend over to pick him back up. While the guards were stooped over to make him stand again, he feigned a kick at guard number one, which startled the guard into stilling for a moment, which gave Loki the opportunity to wrap his chained arms around guard number two's neck, who had been crouched in front of Loki, trying to get him to stand up. Pressing the chains connecting his arms harder into the guard's neck, causing the man to started to choke and turn purple. Loki turned to guard number one and ordered him to put down his weapons or he would snap the other guard's neck.

Doing what Loki ordered, guard number one then turned and began to scream, "The prisoner is attempting to..." But before he could get out the rest of the sentence, Loki threw the other guard at him and as they both felled to the ground, Loki took up the guard's sword and used the butt of it to knock out each guard. Hiding the two unconscious bodies in an abandoned doorway, he told himself to calm down and move out. Scanning the corridor, Loki swiftly ran to his room, using old passageways to avoid any other contact. Finally arriving at his room, Loki moved his furniture to barricade the doors to give him some extra time, but he knew that eventually someone would realized what had happened and they would come to check his bedroom for him.

Sinking down onto his bed, he breathed deeply _in and out, in and out_, like his Mother taught him when he was too upset or frustrated. Finally calmed enough, Loki got up and headed over to his book self and pulled out a Midgardian book on Norse Mythology. Putting it down in the bed, he grabbed a quill and parchment, and wrote out a message to himself quickly, explaining what was going on and what he was doing. Searching around underneath his bed, he pulled out a small chest and opened it to retrieve a emerald green crystal that stored a portion of his magic just in case of emergencies.

Thanking the Norns that he had the foresight to create that crystal, he gripped it in his hands and began to carve runes for the spell into the air. The runes floated around him, lighting up the room with greens and gold. Once finished, Loki slashed his palm with the crystal, letting his blood drip onto it. Watching as its emerald color turn to gold, he then used half of the remaining magic in the crystal to cast an life-exchange ritual. He knew that this type of magic was forbidden in Asgard, but he didn't have time to think of any other options. By using his life force and blood to power the spell, he would be able to create a one-way portal back into the past. Knowing that he was running out of time, Loki closed his eyes, and focused intensely on using up the remainder of his magic to draw out his memories. A myriad of colorful wisps were eased out of his mind and were then sealed within the back of the book.

Once the memories were bound into the book for his younger self to absorb, Loki shut he eyes, and tightly gripped his head when all of his memory started to disappear. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and looked around his surroundings confused. His heart beating fast, he frantically wondered why his arms were bound, and where he was. Turing around he at last noticed a piece of parchment on the bed and read it's contents. Complete disbelief crossed his expression when he finished reading the note. Hysterical laughter started to bubble up in this throat, but he squashed it down, somehow knowing that this wasn't the time or place. After looking at his bound arms and the barricaded door, he through up a prayer to whatever gods were out there for luck and decided to take his chances that what the note said was true.

Shoving the note into his pocket, the man looked down at the book and suddenly felt wave of pain, sadness, and hope flutter though his body, even when he couldn't remember anything. Picking up the book like he was instructed to. He walked over to the portal and was about to step into it when he flinched, startled by the voices outside the barricaded door. Hearing the door start to give in from the constant force being thrown against it. The man crossed his fingers and walked into the portal letting himself be swept up into times embrace.

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	4. Realizations

**Next chapter is up! Enjoy:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and etc.**

Chapter Four:

The uneasy feeling Thor had begun to feel throughout Loki's sentencing only seemed to intensify as the minutes ticked by since he was taken away. Pacing the long hall of the now empty throne room, Thor's mind kept replaying that desperate, heart-wrenching scream Loki had let out as he was dragged away. Not knowing what to do, he headed off to visit his Mother, for she surely knew what ailed him.

Swiftly heading to the Queen's room, he past by a couple of servants who were in a heated debate amongst themselves. Passing them off as just nosy gossipers, he took a few more steps until he heard them mention Loki's name. Intrigued by what they were talking about, he hid himself in one of the empty entranceways to hear them better.

"Something isn't right Rosha and you know it," said Anya, glaring at her long-time friend. The young prince that she had watched grow up would never do something as evil as this.

_Flashback:_

_"__Stop it Anya," giggled the little prince as he hopped off the stool he stood on, trying to get away from the large bubbles Anya blew at him. Chuckling, Anya pretended to keep washing the dishes, knowing that the little prince would attempt to get her back. _

_Listening to him try and sneakily approach her from behind, she waited until he was right behind her. Just as he was about to pounce on her, she swiftly swooped down on him and twirled him around in her arms. Crying out, "I've got you." Listening as his bright, joyous laughter rang throughout the kitchen. Amused when the other servants stopped what they were doing once they heard him and started to join in on the fun. Soon peals of laughter and giggles filled the room as the young prince ran around blowing bubbles with everyone. His warm emerald green eyes were alight with happiness and his smile full of wonder as he played with the others._

_End of Flashback _

"You think I don't realize this Anya! I care about Prince Loki just as much as you do! The prince is like a son to me. Out of all the nobility here in the palace, he's the only one who even cared to _thank us _for the work we do around here," screamed Rosha, angry with her friend for thinking she didn't care about him.

_Flashback:_

_Struggling push the cart full of breakfast for the royal family, Rosha winced, as the cart seemed to grow heavier by the minute. Angry with herself for not waiting until her back was fully healed from when she had injured it. But knowing that she couldn't wait any longer because she had a family to feed since her husband died. As she continued down the corridor, Rosha felt herself slow down until she was going at a snails pace. Right as she was about to stop and rest for a moment, a long-fingered pale hand grabbed the cart handle and the other hand guided her to the side of the cart. Looking up, she saw that it was the young prince Loki. _

_"__Good Morning Rosha, I see that your back hasn't fully recovered since you injured it, what were you thinking trying to work. You need to let yourself heal," said the young prince, a frown marring his young face. His green eyes filled with worry for her. Knowing that he was right, but having no other options, Rosha didn't know what to do. _

_"__I know Prince Loki, but I have no other choice. I need to work to feed my family," whispered Rosha, hating to see him worried. He should be passing his time going on adventures and thinking about girls, not worrying about her, for she was just a servant._

_Frowning even more, the prince looked even unhappier, when suddenly his eyes lit up. Looking very pleased with himself all of a sudden, the prince grinned at her and said, "Well if you have to work, then let me help you! I wake up early in the mornings anyway and usually I'm studying in the library or in the kitchens helping Anya and the others with their work." Stunned, Rosha looked up at the prince and searched his eyes, only finding them full of genuine desire to help her._

_About to protest for the sake of protesting because he was a prince, he quickly cut her off saying, "Rosha I __**want **__to help you because I care about you. So don't give me that, you can't help me because you're a prince and I'm just a servant talk." Stunned for a second time, she could only nod her head at him. Smirking at her, the young prince began to push the cart, waiting for her to join him. Once in step with him, he began to converse with her._

_"__So how's your family been faring, I haven't seen Rosalie for so long," he wined, pouting at her with those large emerald eyes. Resigned, she shook her head with amusement and chuckled. _

_"__My prince you just saw Rosalie last week," replied Rosha._

_"__I know, but that's still a really, really long time" he replied cheekily, grinning at her._

_End Flashback_

Looking back to Anya, it seemed that she was remembering a moment spent together with the young prince as well. Sighing, she wanted to let out her frustrations on something. The prince she had watched growing up would never do something like this. There had to be another side to this.

"Anya, Prince Loki couldn't have done this, all of us knew that he never been wanted the throne or to rule over Midgard. Hel, he visits Midgard frequently, always heading down there to buy books and he brings back sweets for us. And with the Jotunheim incident, Prince Loki would never try to destroy a life with out a serious reason for it. Although he never cared for the Jotuns, he doesn't hate them. There's another key factor to this problem," said Rosha.

"Aye, I agree with you. Prince Loki grew up as a sweet child to a kind and caring young man," agreed Anya, about to continue when she heard a gasp like noise from nearby. Gesturing to Rosha that they should continue this conversation later, they both hurried off to their respective duties.

Growling, Thor wanted to punch something. He was angry with himself for gasping, which caused them to leave. Thor felt even more confused and conflicted as he went over what the two servants were conversing about. He had never known that Loki talked to the servants or that they held him in high regards. If he didn't know this little thing about his brother, what other things could he not know about? As he thought even more about it, Thor realized, did he truly even know his brother? Thor knew simple things about Loki, like his favorite color is green, he loves to read, he can do magic, he's an excellent liar, and spending time with Mother makes him happy. But what else does he know about Loki? He thought hard but nothing else came to mind. Horrified that he knew so little of his brother, Thor realized that the role he had played in Loki's decent into madness was much greater than he thought.

He immediately resumed his mission to speak with his Mother, when Asgard's warning system for when a prisoner has escape rang throughout the palace. Shocked that Loki had been able to escape, he rushed to the first place he knew Loki would head to. His bedroom. Once Thor had made it there, he saw that the guards were trying to break down the doors to Loki's room. Heading over, he told them to move aside, and he swung Mjölnir at the door and watched it break in half. Stepping inside the room, he scanned the area for Loki, but came across nothing. Only the faint smell of freshly fallen snow that he had come to over the centuries associate with Loki was left behind. Dropping to him knees, Thor knew that he was too late. If there truly had been another side to this story, he knew at that moment he would never know.

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**~Chase**


	5. Different Variations

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**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and etc.**

Chapter Five:

Traveling through time was a very strange experience; it felt as if currents of cool water were cradling him gently. The splashes of colors that surrounded him rippled and transformed into wondrous shades that had no names. As he gazed around, Loki, only knowing his name because of the note he had read earlier, saw hundreds of different variations of himself, in what seemed to be alternate dimensions or maybe timelines different from his own.

Feeling himself drawn to one of the window like structures that showed these other versions of him, he pulled away from the current carrying him, and peered at one of the scenes taking place in the window.

_Window Scene One:_

_A man with shoulder length, jet-black haired that curled slightly at the ends was kneeling on the floor grinning with a proud and happy smile. He was dressed in a loose fitting light green t-shirt, a pair of dark blue jeans, and a white socks. The man was looking at a chubby little toddler that was attempting to toddle over to his gesturing arms and encouragements. The little boy was dressed in a baby blue shirt with a brown teddy bear on it and a pair of overalls, the child had a head full of soft honey brown hair and large happy emerald green eyes like his father. _

_"__Come on Luke! I know you can do and if you fall I'll always be there to catch you. Just a few more steps and you'll be safe in daddy's arms," encouraged the black haired man, who looked far more excited than the toddler was. Luke wanting to reach his daddy and make him happy, finally managed to take a few more steps towards him. Just as he was about to make it, Luke slipped and fell. Whimpering at the thought of hitting the floor, he was suddenly swept into his daddy's strong arms safe, and was pulled into a warm hug. Cuddling together, the black haired man took his son and walked them over to the living room to see his wife sitting in the rocking chair nursing their daughter. _

_Leaning against the doorway with Luke, the black haired man watched over his wife, thanking whatever god for bringing her into his life. The woman had long curly honey brown hair that cascaded down her shoulders reaching mid-back. Her heart shaped face had a content look upon it as she gazed down at their daughter Fayne. When she looked up to see who walked in, her warm amber eyes lit up at the sight of her husband and son Luke. Gesturing for the two of them to come closer, they pulled up a chair next to her and the small family just basked in the love and warmth that radiated off of each other._

_End Window Scene_

While watching this scene take place, Loki felt a small pain that had pierce at his heart intensify the longer he stayed to watch that version's loving family. It hurt seeing that scene take place. Although he couldn't remember his own past life, he knew with certainty that he didn't have a family like that. Or else why would he be attempting to change the past. Loki also knew deep down that for some reason that, in the timeline he was from, he would never come to have a family of his own like theirs.

Thinking about looking at another scene, he decided against it, for he didn't believe he could subject himself to watching something that he'll never have. Stepping back onto the path that would lead him back to a time when he was younger. He wondered what age his past self would be when mistress time decided to stop. Letting his eyes close, he laid back and was taken deeper into the past.

Suddenly waking up to the sensation of being dunked into a pool of icy water, he stood up and watched as a silver-blue window appeared before him. Stepping off time's path, he walked closer to the mirror and peered through it.

On the other side of the portal was a young child that looked to be around the age of seven or eight. The boy was lying on his bed reading a large book and what the elder Loki could gather from the title, it was about the theories of magic. Gathering his nerves, the elder Loki ran a finger across the silver-blue portal and watched as his touch caused a ripple to spread across it. Telling himself to stop acting like a child, he quickly stepped through the portal and it felt as if he were being hugged by a spirit of winter.

Once he was deposited into the room of his younger self, he turned his emerald eyes to the child and when their eyes met, all of a sudden he remembered everything.

**I hoped you all liked it! Please review:)**

**~Chase**


	6. Goodbyes

**Hi everyone, I'm back with a new update! Enjoy:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters expect for Anya and Rosha.**

Chapter Six:

Overwhelmed by how strong the force of his returning memories hit him, he staggered back, clutching his head. Thousands upon thousands of memories flashed before his eyes. He relived even if only for a brief moment all of the joyous and painful moments that that he ever experienced since his birth. He tried to savor the quiet moments he spent with his mother, the times in his early childhood when he still best friends with his brother, and so much more. When all of his memories were fully restored, he couldn't help but feel that they were supposed to return for this, that it was somehow fitting. He heard the Midgardian's say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes and it did. Loki knew that he didn't have much more time left until the life-exchange spell claimed his life.

Sweeping his eyes about the room, it felt strange but wonderful to be standing here again. The room had a warm feeling to it that his own bedroom lacked. The room was styled in gold and purple like colors with black accents on the furnishings. The high ceiling was still painted like the night sky, colored like one of the auroras that filled Midgard's icy sky. Chuckling quietly to himself at how different his past self's room was to his future one, he wondered when everything became so cold and impersonal.

Noticing that his younger self was slowly starting to back away from him, the child's eyes wide with fear. Loki walked over to the bed and sat down in front of the child.

"Your me aren't you?" whispered the child, sitting before him. Looking into the child's innocent emerald eyes, he wished at that moment he didn't have to burden the boy with the memories and knowledge he was soon going to impart to him. Any innocence that the child still had left would be destroyed. But maybe, just maybe the child would be strong enough to overcome it.

"Yes. I am you from the future. You're probably wondering why I am here sitting before you," he said watching as a multitude of emotions flickered across his past self's face. A sharp pain struck through his body, his face twisting in agony for a brief moment before he got control over himself. Seeing the child's worried expression, he let a brief small smile cross his face before he hurried on to continue.

"I'm here to change our future into something better than the one we had. I don't have the time to explain what has happened so I brought you this," as he handed the book to the child, his body started to flicker in and out of existence. Knowing that his time was soon coming to an end he grabbed the boy and held him close. Loki could feel the child stiffen for a brief moment before basically melting into the embrace. _By the Norn's, was I really this touch deprived as a child growing up_? He smirked to himself as the boy nuzzled closer. But as the child held onto him, Loki couldn't help but think that maybe he was the one who was touched deprived as he hugged the child even tighter, gently stroking the younger's ebony hair.

"I'm sorry for what I am going to put you through little one," he whispered. "If there was any way I could spare you from the inner torment you will experience. I would do so in a heartbeat. Be brave child. People shall always whisper and talk in the shadows, but their opinions don't matter in the slightest. Become someone who will stand up for those weaker than themselves, someone who has the courage to face their enemies and inner demons. Be someone that can show mercy and kindness to their enemies and friends," he told the child, desperately wanting him to become a better person than himself.

Cradling the boy's face in his long-fingered hands, he stared in the child's eyes and told him, "You have so much potential to do this and all worlds so much good. Even if you cannot see it at the moment, it's still there just waiting for you to take it. Read the book little one; remember everything story is always based upon some truth.

Pulling away from his younger self, he stepped back, and got off the bed. Another burst of pain wracked through his body, but Loki was content. He had explained everything that his younger self would need to know. Closing his eyes, he let his body finally relax. All the tension, worry, and fear that had accumulated since before Thor's coronation and afterwards finally left him. Loki knew that he was fading out of existence, but it didn't matter anymore. He would finally be free. Opening his eyes once more, a brilliant smile crossed his lips as he met the eyes of his younger self. A light that he had once thought his emerald eyes would never shine again shone brightly once more. He let out a light and happy laugh that for once wasn't filled with pain, self-loathing, mockery and the like. As he finally faded from being, he let death take him with a smile on his face.

**Hey everyone! I hope you all liked it! Please review! The more reviews, the more I update:)**

**~Chase**


	7. Pondering

**A new chapter is up!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except Anya and Rosha.**

Chapter Six:

"It was once foretold that the god known as Loki would bring upon the ruin and downfall of all men and gods within the Nine Realms," Loki read out loud to himself. Staring at the pages, as if they would magically rearrange it's wording to something more pleasant, he threw the book across his room. Flopping down on his bed, he let out a frustrated cry; the words _downfall of all men and gods_ rang in his head, over and over, tormenting him. How could he bring upon the destruction of the Nine Realms, Loki thought to himself, bringing his legs up to his chest, trying to bring himself some comfort.

Why would he want to bring Ragnarok? "I'm happy here, aren't I?" he asked himself. But deep down, he knew that he was lying. He always knew that there was something different about him. Otherwise, why would Father always ignore and belittle him on everything he does and always praises Thor, even when his brother's done something wrong. Why else did the people of Asgard always whisper behind his back, calling him _ergi_ or _argr_ because of his magic and fighting style? But the one difference that stood out the most to him was his looks; he looked nothing like his family. Rolling off his bed, Loki stood up, and walked over to the full body mirror hanging on the wall. As he stared at his reflection he gazed at a small, slender young boy with pale skin, vibrant but pained green eyes, a mop of midnight black hair, and a mischievous yet melancholy smile. While his family all had golden blond hair and sky blue eyes, well except his Father, but he was just old. But being different didn't matter in the long run as long as he had his Mother and Thor's love. Right?

Crawling back onto his bed, Loki thought about how most people if they could, would tell him that he was jealous and spiteful of Thor. Sif had called him out on it plenty of times, especially when Thor had his back turned and Loki would deny it. But to tell you the truth, Loki was a little jealous of his brother Thor. What younger sibling doesn't get overcome by the green-eyed-monster every once in a while? While he was prone to feel a little bit envious of his brother, that didn't mean he hated Thor or wanted to hurt him. Loki loved his older brother. Thor was his protector and his first and only friend. His best friend in fact and he was Thor's as well. But did Thor truly feel that way about him anymore?

As the years went by, Thor had slowly stopped protecting Loki from the bullies that hurt him, whether it is by their fists or hateful words. Thor had even begun to recently join in with the taunting; telling him to know his place, and the doubts he felt kept building up within him. Would he really turn out like what the book said or would he be able to forge out his own future. Pondering all of the memories, emotions, and thoughts that had been evoked by the book for a while, Loki soon felt the sweet pull of sleep tugging on him. Curling up into the warm folds of his bed, he let his body and mind succumb to dreams of what may or may not happen.

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**~Chase**


	8. Decisions

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except Anya and Rosha.**

Chapter Eight:

Awakening from unsettling dreams that soon faded away to nothing, leaving only an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Loki clambered out of bed and shuffled over to his wardrobe, rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes. Scanning his clothing options, he pulled out a simple royal blue tunic; accented with black, dark brown breeches, and black dragonhide boots. Quickly disrobing himself of his sleepwear, Loki managed to put his clothing on just in time for the servants to come in to dress him. Mentally sighing with relief, he casted invisibility spells over himself and escaped from his room. Once reassured that he was far enough away from his room, he headed down to the kitchens to grab something to eat.

Greeting the cooks and servants, Loki saw that Anya was already preparing for the day. She was a younger cook that Loki had known since he was a infant and she had always treated him kindly.

"Good morning, my prince. How do you fare, for you are up so early?" said Anya, giving Loki a warm, yet worried smile. Looking up at Anya, Loki smiled shyly, a warm feeling swept through his body at the thought of someone being worried about his well-being.

Taking the offered fruit and bread from her. Loki smiled, "I am well Anya, I just wanted to be the first one to greet you this morning," he said, giving her what he thought was his most charming smile. Chuckling, Anya couldn't help but think about all the hearts this child is going to capture, when he gets older.

"I know you better than you think, Loki Odinson. I watched you learn how to crawl, walk, talk, and everything else you can think of. So tell me child, what is troubling you so?" Anya said sternly, watching his facial expressions closely, for he had been slowly starting to close himself off from others, in order not to be hurt anymore.

Staring at Anya, Loki looked into her eyes and only found genuine affection for him in there. She had become one of the most important people in his life and his closest confident now of days, someone who he could tell his fears, worries, heartaches, and joys to, since his brother Thor has started to ignore him. Settling onto one of the wooden chairs next to her, Loki told her of how he met an older, sadder version of himself the other night and how the future Loki gave him an old Midgardian book about Norse mythology. Loki described to Anya about how tired and pained the older Loki had seemed to him and younger Loki said that he noticed so many scars and what seemed like injuries on the future Loki.

"My future self looked so burdened and pained Anya, it was as if he were Altas, the Greek Titan who was condemed to bear the heavens upon his shoulders," he whispered quietly. He thought about what the elder Loki said to him as he cradled his face within his hands. He was told to be brave and strong for what was to come in the near future. That he shouldn't mind what other say about him for their opinions do not matter. Loki had been stunned to say the least, nobody had ever just sat down with him to even just encourage him and tell him that he had potential to do good.

Anya, seeing how the young prince started to slightly shake, pulled him close to her so he would have someone to lean on, while he finished his tale. Shuddering, Loki pushed onwards and said, "I have heard the Midgardian's have a saying that the eyes are windows to the soul, and if that's true, then when I looked into those familiar, yet alien eyes, I realized that the older Loki's soul must have been so broken. Then stomped on by whatever he had encounter and gone though in the future, and lastly shredded to very small pieces that was lastly devoured by a bilgesnipe."

Attempting to compose himself, Loki took in a deep breath, trying to release all the tension in his little body. He told her how the elder Loki told him to read the book and that all stories were based off of some truth. Obviously he knew that some of the more ridiculous tales were false, because how in the Norns would he be able to birth an eight-legged horse, giant wolf, or the world's serpent. But the rest of the tales, even based on a truth frightened him. He knew that the dwarfs did use the punishment of sowing your lips shut if you were caught in a lie. Loki didn't believe his father would have him bound by his son's entrails for the rest of eternity while venom from the foulest of serpents dripped onto his face. Then again, his father held no true affection or pride towards. Thankfully he also knew that there was no woman by the name of Sigyn in Asgard, so she probably didn't exist either. He was glad for no mother should have to live through the deaths of her children. Shaking off these dark thoughts, he remembered that agonizingly slow moment when he was forced to watch the older Loki fade out of existence.

"I couldn't do anything Anya, nothing I tried worked, and you know what? The more he faded, the happier he looked, as if he was finally free of some heavy burden," Loki shuddered at the sight replaying across his eyes. When Anya picked him up and pulled him onto her lap, he didn't even struggle to get her to release him, instead he threw her a grateful smile. Finally when all of his tears subsided, he swore to himself that he would never let a future that could create such a beaten down soul come into existence.

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**~Chase**


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